I bought a new book and it has got me thinking.

Jack Morin, the author of The Erotic Mind, talks about peak sexual experiences.  He posits that we don’t talk about this enough.  We, meaning, therapists, don’t ask about the good.  We focus on what’s not working; what about what has worked, or when it did work.  I like this.  Can we figure out what makes for great sex?  Can we reflect on those most erotic and sexy times?  Why were those times so different than our other sexual and romantic experiences?  If we can know for ourselves what the ingredients are for a peak erotic experience then we can mindfully seek them out.

It is so easy to focus on what isn’t working right.  I like Jack’s ideas, focus on what went well.  Maybe, sex or making love with another has never gone well.  Consider instead when it has gone well in your mind.  Or perhaps when you have been alone, pleasuring yourself.  Or what about that romantic movie aroused you and got you going?

Take some time.  Reflect on what you find erotic.  What makes you blush and smile?  Think about why.  Think about how you can add more of it into your sexual life with partner and or yourself.  Our sexual selves require nurturing and care.  Nurture your sexual self and you energize your life force and creativity.